I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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