i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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