i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
