You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
