I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
