quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
