i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
