after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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