His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
