Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
