So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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