Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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