My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
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I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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