3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
