You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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