u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
my shit smells like andre
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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