Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
