He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
