420 ftw
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
