I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
