She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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