i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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