so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
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Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
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$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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