It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
