It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
