she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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