Is it normal to miss your booty call?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
