P.S. I can't hear my feet
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
