if only i could text you this smell
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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