Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
