IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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