You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
