just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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