I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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