Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
