Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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