I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
