What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize