There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
