I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
