so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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