Where did you get a picture of my penis
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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