he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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