4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
