i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
