taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
