he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
