I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
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