Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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