i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
