im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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