you would pick up someone in the library
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
