I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
