i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
