if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize