Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
