Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I have surprise drugs for everyone
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
