lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
