i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
