i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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