we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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