I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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