porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
