It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
