member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
