my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
