i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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