i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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