I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
babies were throwing up all over the place
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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