I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
