when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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