I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
